Procrastination:

 

So I have just come off a 6 day stretch of overnight shifts, and all I did was work/sleep/eat and when I wasn’t doing that I was indulging in un-healthy doses of smoking cigarettes/watching TV/making a mess in my apartment. This has become an all-inclusive ride to domestic anarchy. When I work this shift my apartment quickly gets that Bachelor feel. It is mayhem: clothes strewn all over every surface, dishes piled precariously in the kitchen sink and any available counter top, coffee grounds sprinkled like fairy dust on the floor, towels dropped on the bathroom floor like islands trying to absorb the ocean, and an unmade bed, sheets twisted, pillows fallen... it is not a pretty sight. I think I’ve had a day off, but was too turned around to notice, or make use of it. Now comes the unpleasant task of cleaning. I am, instead, procrastinating by answering emails, making phone calls and blogging. When it comes to procrastinating I am terribly organized. This is a skill that I developed at a young age, and I believe that I have only gotten better at it as the years have passed.

Here are a few things I have learned that help:

1. Drink a second pot of coffee, coffee is something that you should sit on your ass to drink, therefore ruling out any possibility of getting started or heaven forbid: multi-tasking.

2. Make a list, time spent making lists of things to do means you are making lists rather than actually doing something pro-active. But also allows you to reason that you will do the things on the list once the list is written.

3. Make a phone call, if there is no answer leave a message for them to phone back – there is always a reason to make a phone call to a friend or family member, and as long as you chose the recipient properly that person will keep you on the phone for anywhere between a half an hour to two whole hours.

4. Then you probably need a snack – because obviously you can’t be effective at anything if you are hungry.

5. If you have a favourite soap opera or other mindless program that is a guilty pleasure, justify watching that while you eat your snack. Tell yourself that once the program is over you will get back to your list.

6. Back to list – add things you have done so that you can cross them off your list for a sense of accomplishment. ie. have snack.

7. See # 3, surely by this point one of the messages that you left early has been returned, and it would be rude to say you are busy, after all, you were the one who called them and left a message. This can go on for hours, the returning of your messages.

8. Check your email, this can be a great time waster, particularly as everyone has at least a couple of people in their lives who love to send forwards, view this as the opportunity it is!... read them, responding with “Lol” to the jokes they sent you.

9. When you feel adequately guilty for not actually doing anything on your list, I suggest that you make your bed. I like this one because it is easy and doesn’t take long. Then you can cross it off your list and reward yourself with a break.

10. Time line – this is important, and most effective if you have slept in, because the hours you are sleeping are lost, and therefore you can reasonably tell yourself that you can’t have started anything without a proper night’s sleep. If you got up early, a nap will produce the same results.

If you have done steps 1-10 properly it is now sometime between 4:00 and 5:00 o’clock. And well, the plan had been to get this stuff done during the day, and you are far too busy this evening between spouse/kids/friends/social life/TV programming/dinner to take care of anything on your list. Vow to deal with it tomorrow, remind yourself that it isn’t going anywhere, and can wait.

Mission accomplished.

Disclaimer: Apartment is still an unspeakable mess, but look at the bright side; at least you didn’t have to clean it today.

To my sister, the OCD Queen of Clean: If you are beyond your capability to stand even thinking about this situation: you may feel free to climb into your car, drive the 140 + kms to my apartment to put to right the deplorable physical and mental state I live in. I’ll put on the coffee!!

Peace out

Dar