The New Year

New Years resolutions? They aren't for me. I believe that any resolution made is automatically, through mere characterization,  bound to never come to fruition. People begin their new year with optimism and unrealistic goals. By February they are disappointed and guilt-ridden.

Resolutions? Hell  no.

1. Quit smoking? Ha ha ha, right.
2. Get a new job? Utter failure.
3. Lose weight? Just like last year, and the year before... Not likely.

I believe in predictions. Every year on New Years Eve I take a moment, sit down, reflect on the past year, my successes, my failures, and I write a list of 5 predictions for the next year. I put the list in a sealed envelope and hide it in a book in my bedroom, to be opened on New Years Eve next.

So when I read the list from last year I am often pleasantly surprised to discover that my predictions have (at least in part) come true. I opened my envelope the afternoon of New Years Eve 2010 and this is what it read:

1. This year I will have finally gotten my passport. Totally happened.
2. And have used it to travel somewhere I need a passport to travel to. Check.
3. This year I will have lived a healthier lifestyle, body and mind. Check check.
4. This year I will have made some sort of plan for my life. That one is completely open to one's perception.
5. This year I will have indulged the writer within me, and will have written something that I am proud of. That's my blog right?

Predictions, goals, resolutions... you may say the distinction is a matter of semantics, but I say the difference is a matter of expectations.

I realized something about myself when I was in my mid-20s. I am a sabotager or "saboteur" if you're a stickler for grammar - Mom : ). To be honest, it is actually that I am a self-sabotager. I did it with school (yeah yeah yeah, I'm so smart...), I do it with relationships, I've even been known to do it with my career.... It is not that I am afraid of success, or even afraid of failure, I just resent so much the mere act being told what to do, I won't even listen to myself. So to counter my natural inclination towards self-sabotage I try to out-smart myself.

I like being right. I dislike being challenged. When I hear: "You can quit smoking." .... I want to say: "Watch me prove you wrong!" Mature isn't it? Resolutions mean "You must do this..." Predictions mean I can be right!! And I like being right. So if New Years resolutions make you feel like a failure, then I say even a control freak like me is susceptible to a little fancy trickery... call them predictions. And then relish in how awesomely right you get to be at the end!!

Peace out
Dar